Intelligent Design or Survival of the Fittest?

by Juan Mendez

The answer will shock you; it's both. Since Darwin, evolution has been described as a process of natural selection over successive generations. But some scientific researchers, among them the controversial Dr. Zend have seen flaws in this thinking. "I could never quite get my arms around one-generational changes that occasionally occur to certain species, such as butterflies in regard to abrupt changes in climate or predators."

Dr. Zend later turned his attention to the possible interbreeding between modern and archaic humans during the Lower or Middle Paleolithic periods. Besides limited Neanderthal and early-modern human mating, the exchange of body lice between Homo erectus and modern humans in Asia was thought to prove intimate contact.

Dr. Zend studied the sudden disappearance of archaic skull morphology in greater Tasman-Oceania during the Nineteenth Century. His findings shocked the scientific community and earned him scathing criticism.

Dr. Zend postulated that a species adapts based on pre-existing genetic inheritances AND species-aware changes in environmental conditions.

For example the genetic makeup of the aboriginal inhabitants of Tasman-Oceania had Caucasian components as well as many others. When the Crown took ownership and British settlers appeared, indigenous individuals with archaic features such as pronounced brows, prognathous jaws etc disappeared within a century. "It's almost like the species itself played a computer-like probability game and adapted without slaughter or failure to procreate. Babies were born with the more appreciated features of the new majority, rather than replicating the near past.

"I think we can see this in European graveyards in the middle-ages, when archaic bone structures began to disappear among a peasantry that was adapting to the new sense of majority. Call it what you like but it's more than simply natural selection; it anticipates natural selection!"

Among his many critics is Professor Simian of the Herangi Institute for Unapplied Science at Drewson University. "Zend's analysis is completely crackers. The original inhabitants of Tasman-Oceania disappeared before the 20th century started. As far as archaic cranium morphology, it's poppycock from some loony web-sites. Zend is a knuckle-head," Professor Simian added with emphasis.

Zend replies, "The current native population is an admixture predominately of European fathers and indigenous mothers. It defies the biological rules governing probability that traits regarded as regressive by the newly dominant group should suddenly be bred out all offspring. Professor Simian can go back to swinging from the tree of No-Knowledge."

Rather than celebrate the intelligent hand of the mysterious, religious groups also deplore Dr. Zend's thesis. "He puts ugly cave men and chimps in our family tree," castigated Reverend H. Billy from the Southpaw Family worship center and Online shopping mall.